Last school year I had an abnormally large amount of creepy and gross kids and parents who would shock me. Think back to creepy dad with no semblance of personal space, sweaty dad (even in December), "I believe in killer whales" child, I will wash off the math game piece I dropped in the toilet and put it back child, and so forth. This year I have such an awesome class, that I feel I am being repaid for my sufferings last year. I still crack up at some of my students' comments and doings and am so glad they just keep on coming. It seriously is one of the best things about teaching to me. Anyway, with these cute kids, I don't have so many gross or weird stories as just funny ones. (Why is it so much funner to post the former kind?) Here are some of my recent favorites anyway:
1. On making a list about places that are special to them, one student wrote:
"Disneyland, school, Adventure Island, church - because I'm supposed to like it and if I don't God with PUNISH me! The bathroom is also special to me because everyone needs some privacy you know."
2. I have 3 students who spend part of their day with a specialist because they have some learning disabilities. One of them has a bit of autism along with some other things, and this kid has become one of my favorites. He is draining because he has to be refocused every three seconds, but he cracks me up. One day he couldn't do what we were doing so he was drawing a mask instead. He colored it with markers and was very proud. He asked for some tape, but when I told him I wasn't going to let him tape it to his face, he took matters into his own hands. When I wasn't looking, he went to the sink and doused his face in water to make the mask stick. I felt a tap on my back and a, "Mrs. Hawwis..." (which is how he says my name). When I turned around I saw this
The marker bled through the wet paper, covering his entire face in marker. He didn't seem to mind though and even wanted to see the picture I took on the camera. His reaction to seeing himself was, "Oh, so funny!"
I had to scrub this poor kids face with soap until it was red to get all the marker off.
3. Same kid as above... We are finishing a test when this child comes back from his special class. I tell him to grab a book to read for a couple minutes. The class is totally silent when he YELLS, "Ha Ha, HE FARTED! Oh my gosh, ew, look at the fart. I can see it, look!" He was reading a book called Walter the Farting Dog. As you can imagine, my whole class erupts in laughter. I do too, so what are you gonna do?
There's a bunch more, but I can't think of them right now.