Thursday, June 24, 2010

Another Belly Shot

30 Weeks!
I am so happy that I made it to the thirty week mark. A couple weeks ago my cervix length shortened a little more so I was put on stricter bed rest, meaning more laying rather than sitting. It's kind of a bummer but these past couple weeks things have held steady so it's worth it. I was told a normal cervix length was around 5 cm and mine was 1.8 cm, so I understand the concern. Just 6 or 7 more weeks until the stitches come out and I will have freedom! Well, for about a week until I go into labor. I have big plans for that week though, mostly having to do with organizing and shopping. I will be too huge for the beach, which is where I wish I could be every day.
By the way, I am holding the top shirt up and showing the tighter shade shirt because it is a little flowy and Chris said it hid my belly too much. I'm not just being weird...intentionally. :)
So I made a goal that my next post would not be about pregnancy or babies. It's just that all I do is lay around so there is not a whole lot to share unless you want to hear what I am watching or reading. (Watching: lots of World Cup soccer, Reading: Enders Game). I will be more interesting soon I hope.

Monday, June 21, 2010

They're Just Dreams, Right?

Why is it that during daylight hours I am confident I can be a good mom, but while I am asleep, I am the worst mom ever? I have been having the weirdest dreams lately, with last night being no exception.

I believe it started with me having the baby but having no memory of having had the baby. I couldn't remember my labor, delivery, how much she weighed...or her name! I remember being very concerned that I didn't know her weight. Maybe because I have been willing her to grow fast since I'm in a high risk pregnancy. Someone in my dream asked me her name and I had to think about it. Then I called her Aubrey. Chris and I have been planning on calling her Lila for months now!

Next in my dream, I was holding her and looked down to see that she was wearing a white onesie and was horrified at myself for not putting her in a cute outfit. This actually does make sense since I have been fantasizing about dressing this little girl ever since I found out the gender. The part that doesn't make sense is that in the process of trying to dress her (in a Christmas outfit, no less) I dropped her three times! I have never dropped a child! She didn't cry in my dream but I did look around to make sure no one saw me do it.

The last more coherent thing I remember from my dream is that I realized I hadn't fed her yet. Since I couldn't remember when she was born, I didn't know how long it had been since she had eaten but I knew it had been a while. I tried to breast feed her but had no idea what I was doing and didn't know if she was getting anything or not.

I woke up numerous times last night very upset and kept having to remind myself that they are only dreams! It is just so strange to me because I am not nervous (yet) about when she comes nor about my or Chris's abilities. Maybe my subconscious is having a little fun with me or something. Hopefully I will remember my child's name, dress her in appropriate clothing, NOT drop her, and be able to feed her! I am crossing my fingers for these dreams to end.

I really will take care of you little one, I promise! Just look at all the cute clothes waiting to be worn by your cuteness!

(Most of these clothes are courtesy of my awesome sister who happens to have a little girl of her own!) I can't wait until Chris finishes clearing out the office, soon to be nursery, so I can hang up all of these adorable clothes!